Getting healthy-again

My friend’s massive heart attack has given me an impetus to get healthy. She told me once in the hospital that I absolutely had to lose weight to not end up in the same situation. I told her the last time I saw her that I agreed with her and was going to get healthy.

“Kim,” she said matter-of-factly. “This is absolute hell. I’ve been in and out of hospitals and have so many problems. Don’t end up like this. Please get healthy.”

And she was right. In addition to heart problems, my friend was diabetic and had developed really swollen legs in recent years. She thought it might be Lymphedema, but I don’t know if it actually was. Any way you look at it, we engaged in some terribly unhealthy habits together. Those habits killed her, but I’m still here and can change them, as she told me to do.

We are a generation that has terrible habits. And the younger generations are not much better, according to an article on BBC.com. One out of ten teens is obese in the UK.  

How much worse is it in the US?

What does being obese put you at risk for, you wonder? The article says Breast Cancer, Colon Cancer, Type 2 Diabetes and strokes.

My dad’s cousin died of colon cancer. Dad is absolutely convinced that he developed it due to his diet. My friend informed me that kidney dialysis due to diabetes is a bitch, plain and simple. My dad had a stroke. Not fun either.

I began the quest to get healthy before she passed away. I began swimming, which I really do enjoy. I did that for about a month and realized it wasn’t raising my heart rate enough to even consider it exercise. So, I’m now walking.

Holy…

I began a simple walking trail a few days ago. It’s a walk down the street, turn into the dam, walk a little through the park and go up the hill and walk home. It takes me roughly 38 minutes to do it right now, and man, do I ever sweat!

I guess I’m doing something right though! I’m exercising! See? 🙂

I switch it up some days and go a shorter amount of time. I think that’s fine, as long as I keep up a habit of exercise.

Other habits need to be introduced also, but I think it’s important that I’ve begun exercising. Food habits need to be introduced.

I had a talk today with my primary doctor about what was happening. She was happy to hear that I’m consistently walking. She now said my food choices need to improve also. Agreed.

Does anyone have any healthy food ideas for me to try? I need them. I would like them.

I’ll continue on with exercising in the meantime.

Rest in peace, dear friend….

I’ve been going through my computer files and can’t seem to find it.

“It” would be a photo I took with a dear friend one day probably 5 years ago when we had lunch together. It was a nice selfie.

I can’t find it-and it makes me mad.

My friend passed away 2 weeks ago.

We hardly took photos together because she hated her weight and didn’t like to be photographed. I felt the same way about my weight, therefore it sucks.

We met 16 years ago when we worked together. We immediately clicked. She became a dear friend I could freely talk to. She knew all about me, my family and my love life. We laughed a lot together. We commiserated about our place of employment and the crazy antics that went on there.

She was a fun friend. She once joked that we should go out and buy cubic zirconias together and hit up wedding spots-bakeries, restaurants and the like-so that we could get some free food. 🙂 We laughed and laughed about that.

And never did it.

“It’s too bad,” she said as she was lying in her hospital bed after her heart attack. “That would have been fun-and funny!”

“Oh, we still have time for that,” I said to her, trying to be positive.

“No. We don’t,” she matter-of-factly answered back.

She was right.

My friend had a major heart attack. Her heart was deemed beyond repair after the surgeon opened her up to do bypass. She needed a transplant, but she would have never survived it, they said. She was in and out of hospitals. I was preparing for her death, yet she lingered on.

I was hopeful when she was sent to a well-known teaching hospital that I went to see her at before she passed. She had been more alert over the phone the last few times I spoke with her. I had a great visit with her.

It was the last time I saw her alive. I’m glad I told her I loved her.

She said it back.

Her cousin messaged me to let me know of her passing. I didn’t believe her. I then messaged her nephew to confirm. Yes, he told me, it was true.

I cried for over an hour and looked up as I talked to her.

I talked to mutual friends of ours that evening as we mourned together.

It’s gradually hitting me that the person who I could call on a whim is gone. Like really gone. Until we meet again in the afterlife.

Gone.

I cried for a bit today when I realized she was really gone. I’m sure I’ll do that off and on for a bit. Hell, I’m even tearing up now writing this.

I just miss my supportive, caring, blunt dear friend. She was a true friend. Those are hard to come by.

Her memorial service is this Sunday. I wonder how I’ll be.

I have no regrets for my time with her at the end. Others have told me they wished they went to see her. They wished this, they wished that…. One of the things she always mentioned was that those who put in the effort with elderly relatives or the sick have no regrets when they pass away. It’s true. I did the hard stuff by calling her and going to see her when it really and truly mattered.

I’m glad of that, but it’s still hard to believe.

My friend of 16 years is no longer among the living.

She’s at peace with the Lord. I know I’ll see her again one day, but it’s hard.

So, so hard….

 

Yes, I’m single-and you need to stop judging me…

 

Serious anxiety welled up inside me when I spoke to a guy on the phone I met a few years ago.

“So, why have you never been married?” he asked.

I had honestly never been asked that before! I tried my best to be calm and answer him without seeming like a nutcase.

“Well, um…” I stammered. “I…I….don’t know. I….guess that God hasn’t shown me the right man.”

Tears came on the last 3 words, to which he apologized and told me that he was divorced “a long time ago” after less than a year. (Insert eyeroll…)

I feel like the Last of the Mohicans when I think about marriage. The majority of my cousins are married. The two younger ones are almost at the point that they could get married soon. If they get married before me I’ll really be the sole Mohican!

I actually know quite a few never married singles that are my age. I don’t feel quite so alone there. I also know some folks who got married for the first time in their 40s. Sad to say, but a few of them are now going through divorces. Did they settle? Did they ignore the obvious?

Yes and yes. And that scares me.

I would hate to settle in order to find a husband. It’s easy to do. I used to sit with a roommate when we were in our 20s reading Martha Stewart Weddings. She’d take one magazine and I’d take the other as we’d tell each other what we liked inside. I found it almost ironic that I recently complained to her about a failed relationship.

I’ve helped friends pick out wedding invitations. I’ve laughed at my sister trying on bridesmaids gowns. (Think Zoolander 🙂 ) I’ve set up wedding receptions for friends who are nice people but became Bridezillas on their wedding days.

Can I be a Bridezilla too? 🙂 I kinda liked doing that back in the day….

Can I have a decent husband first though?

It’s not uncommon for folks in my family to marry later. I have an uncle who got married at 49. My parents were considered late bloomers back in the day when they got married in their early 30s. One of Dad’s cousins later said that the family bet he’d never marry.

I guess I should really answer the obvious question. I don’t think it has a simple answer.

I’m not married. And I’m 42 years old.

I don’t feel like a freak, but I know I’ve heard from others that in the dating world that if a woman isn’t married by the time she’s 40 that she’s looked upon like a wackadoodle.

I hope think I’m at the point where I care less what others think of me. I know I’m also at the point where I’d make a good partner/wife. So….

I’d be thrilled if I could find my other wackadoodle half.

 

I’m looking for you. 🙂

 

 

 

Hell froze over: My parents are trendsetters!

I can’t believe it.

My parents-who had me, their second child in their late 30s, were trendsetters back in the day. My parents?

Yes, my square older parents. No way!

An article on parenting.com shows that births among women ages 40-44 increased during this decade while the population otherwise dropped. Even women in their late 30s were making more babies than teens!

Here are my trendsetters in action as parents. 😉

My mom in the ’70s, pregnant with me in her late 30s. The baby is my cousin and the girl to the right is my sister.

I’m the little girl in front, rockin’ the 1980s sundress. My dad, in his mid 40s, is behind me. (This is actually a really cool picture, as it’s 4 generations of family. Elderly family, but still family.)

My parents actions are now totally common, as I know a lot (a LOT) of people my age who have toddlers and preschoolers. In fact, a cousin in his late 50s has a grade schooler.

I have a few friends who are also the product of older parents. My BFF’s mother was a year older than my mom, so we always felt a connection there. She’s also an older mom now to her 3-year-old, who I call my pseudo nephew as he calls me Auntie.

I really didn’t see a lot of bad to being the product of older parents. Friends who also had older parents told me horror stories of friends asking them if their parents were their grandparents. Ironically, one of the parents was my age now.  Yikes? I never had that problem. It was what it was.

I think the only time I noticed that I had an older mother was when I was in 4th grade. I think it was the last day of school and my mom dropped off cookies for our send-off party. I remember her walking in and looking nervous. She left pretty quickly too. For some reason, I then felt nervous.

She looked older than the other moms…

Otherwise though, besides their eccentricities 🙂 , I had very decent parents. Dad was the involved one. He chaperoned on Girl Scout adventures. He would also take me to see a friend who moved out of the area and would always chat with her parents and take my friend and I to lunch. Mom handled the education stuff. She was always at our back to school nights and was a good homework helper.

These two weren’t perfect, but they made it work.

I want children before I hit menopause. I pray that it will happen. When it does, I know that I’ll be in good company with other gray haired kindergarten moms. Ha!

 

 

 

Day in the Life: Summer

I am a really big fan of famed scrapbooker Ali Edwards. I’ve followed her since I discovered her in Creating Keepsakes Magazine.

Her Day in the Life and Week in the Life documenting is just awesome to me. I usually participate in both and also her December Daily one. I’d love to get her products for these two things sometime. I just think it would be really cool to have albums documenting this each year.

I participated in Day in the Life this past summer. I quit documenting once I got home from work though because the commute nearly got to me. (It was over an hour…) I was tired! Here is my day though, puffy eyes, messy hair and all!

Are any of you Ali Edwards fans? If so, do you participate in this also?

Difference of opinion?

 

We as a society seem to get offended easily. We don’t want to hear anything other than the politically correct point of view. Or so it seems.

I was deleted on Facebook by a really long-term family friend (I mean LONG. TERM.) when I posted a photo of Mike Pence with a quote about Hillary Clinton’s Basket of Deplorables comment. She didn’t like Trump and made it quite clear that she would delete anyone who supported him. I was surprised when I got included in that. Her brother helped me get a job once. I also brought over my foster dog once to see her ailing father because he thought his pictures were so cute. I went through many life events with her.

I was also deleted by another Facebook friend that I went to high school with. She also said she would delete anyone who disagreed with her about the issue of taking down Confederate statues. I disagreed and didn’t care whether she would delete me or not. We obviously weren’t close.

Disclosure: I consider myself a Centrist even though I’m a registered Republican. I was also pro Obamacare. (That’s another post another time.) Some of my dearest friends are Black and vote Democrat.

To make a long story short, I am open minded. I am always respectful of your views as long as you are equally so.

I almost think of someone plugging their ears like a selfish child and shouting, “Lalalalala! I can’t hear youuuuuu!” when I hear of times like this. Can’t someone respect another point of view and just leave it be?

There are many articles online which discuss not taking the risk to post political stuff online. This site talked about losing friends. Were they really friends to begin with if they delete you over something political?

I guess I’m just shaking my head in disbelief. I can’t believe how anally stubborn some people are that they won’t read another political point of view.

Go ahead and delete me if you don’t agree.

 

 

 

Mourning the loss of my air conditioner-in 100 degree weather…

Why does it seem that air conditioners always go to the great beyond when it’s boiling outside?

We’re having 100+degree weather here. It feels like Southern California is on the face of the sun. It only seems logical then that all hell would break loose….

My air conditioner began spilling out water at 2:30 AM recently. I immediately turned it off, of course, cleaned up the mess as best I could and set a bucket out since the spot of the leak was still dripping. I also got out my box fan, put it on one of my dining area chairs and practically stuck my head in it so I could sleep.

 

The thing keeping me sane at home….

Needless to say, it was a miserable few hours of remaining sleep once I cleaned everything up. Even with the fan aimed at my head…

The air conditioner repair guy delivered another blow when he came out shortly thereafter.

My A/C unit is as old as my condo-which was built in the late ’70s. I need a new one. 😦

Send in the bids for a new A/C….

Bid #1 nearly gave me a heart attack. FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS! Neighbors who have replaced their units told me no way, that I can get the job done for MUCH less money. A neighbor who repairs HVACs for a school district told me that a bid for that much money is for a house, not for a condominium.

I never believe in getting one bid for any service. So, bid numbers 2 and 3 will be coming this week. I know I’ll need asbestos remediation also before the new one is installed. I’m also debating putting a ceiling fan in the bedroom.

It’s friggin hot. I’m miserable and whiny without air. I know that I’ll have a nicer electric bill as a result. I can’t function though in this heat without air-or a fan….

I know that Fall will be here in a few short weeks and the weather will improve. My whining will cease and things will be taken care of.

It’s icky though to have no air conditioning when it’s 105 out…